How to resolve the 4 month sleep regression
Ah, the 4 month sleep regression. Many parent’s introduction to sleep coaching starts here. Why? Because it is the time when suddenly your sweet, sleepy newborn is fighting bedtimes and naps and waking multiple times per night. You are now likely finding yourself using any means necessary to put your baby to sleep every night and every nap. What used to work before they now protest, nightwakings are happening way more often, and naps won’t go longer than 30-45 minutes. You begin researching the four month sleep regression and how to survive it. Well, if that search led you here, you’re in luck!
As a certified pediatric sleep consultant I hear/talk about the four month sleep regression almost every day. It is very confusing for many parents who used to have a great sleeper and now are severely sleep deprived. Before we dive into how to resolve it and set your little one up for healthy sleep, let’s talk about why it happens.
WHAT CAUSES THE FOUR MONTH SLEEP REGRESSION
Before you may have been able to rock, feed, or even just simply put your baby down to sleep without them waking and now it feels like you’re laying down a ticking time bomb. That’s because previously your baby used to jump right into a deep stage of sleep. Up until about 4 months, your baby experienced two stages of sleep, light sleep and deep sleep. That’s it! Now, your baby is cycling through all five stages of sleep similar to how adults do. Therefore they are spending less time in a deep sleep and starting their cycle at stage 1, a very light state of sleep versus starting out in a deep sleep. This is why you you may be having a lot more trouble laying your baby down after rocking them because they are only in a light, easily disturbed sleep. For more details on all of the sleep stages and how your little one cycles through them, check out my blog, The Science Behind Baby Sleep.
If you do happen to get your baby to sleep and lay them down successfully, you may find that it’s just a short while before they wake and are looking for you again. This is because once they cycle back to a light stage of sleep and realizes they are no longer being rocked, fed, bounced, or held they will wake and ask for you to do it again. They literally don’t know HOW to fall back to sleep any other way! Independent sleep is a learned skill and without being taught how to connect sleep cycles on their own, your baby or child will continue to ask for the way they know how to get back to sleep.
In addition to the change in the way your baby sleeps, there are also some developmental milestones that happen right around the 3-4 month mark. Most babies start rolling, meaning that it is no longer safe to be swaddled and thus the transition to a sleep sack further contributes to your baby’s restlessness and inability to fall asleep and stay asleep. It’s a time when many are ready to learn how to settle without the swaddle.
HOW LONG DOES THE FOUR MONTH SLEEP REGRESSION LAST?
While the actual developmental change may only last a few days to a couple of weeks, many parents tell me it’s been weeks or months and their little one hasn’t sleep well since. While we all wish it was a phase that will simply pass in time, most of the time this is not the case. That is because this “regression” is a huge, permanent change in your child’s sleep. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be permanently sleep deprived! Instead it just means that this is your signal to know that your little one is now developmentally ready and capable of learning independent sleep should you choose to teach them. When your child is rocked, fed, bounced, held, laid with, etc to sleep, it also means that they are more likely to wake at the end of a sleep cycle looking for whatever helped them to sleep in the first place. They literally do not know how to fall back into a deep sleep any other way. If you teach your little one how to fall asleep all on their own, they will know how to put themselves back into a deep sleep and thus consolidate more hours of rest and get the restorative nights and naps they need.
How to Resolve the Four Month Sleep Regression
The trickiest part about this developmental leap for so many parents is that it’s not a regression at all, it’s a progression! It’s talked about as your baby going backwards with sleep, when really the way they experience sleep now is more or less how they will forever. Does that mean that they will also wake up after every sleep cycle (each one is about 1-3 hours overnight and 30-50 min during the day) forever? Heck no! It just means that they are ready to learn how to go from light sleep to deep sleep on their own, and thus consolidate those sleep cycles independently. Which in turn translates to longer stretches overnight and longer, more restorative naps during the day.
Once your little one hits the 4 month developmental leap (aka “the four month regression”) they are ready to start sleeping 11-12 hours in their crib on their own. And while some little ones still require a night feed or two at this age to stay on track with their growth, many get on the road to sleeping through the night. Your baby is also ready to learn how to consolidate day sleep into 3-4 naps, with at least two of those naps hitting the 1-2 hour mark vs. many little 30-45 min cat naps.
So how do you teach your baby to achieve all this? That’s where sleep coaching comes in. If your little one is showing signs of their sleep cycles maturing (think: waking up more overnight, short naps, needing more help to sleep, not able to settle themselves at sleep times) and/or they’ve hit at least 16 weeks, they are ready to learn independent sleep so that they can start connecting those sleep stages on their own and get some more sleep!
Whether you are thinking ahead to this bump in the road or it’s been weeks, months, or even years since you’ve both gotten some real rest, there is always time to learn independent sleep. If you’d like to chat further about what a sleep solution looks like for your family, contact me to set up a FREE assessment call and let’s talk about how to start consolidating those nights and naps!
Ready to jump in?
If your little one is between 4 -18 months, the Digital Dream Program is your solution to better sleep. Have an older kiddo or want more guidance? Check out my One-On-One Custom Consultation.
As always, #staysnoozin!
